Last updated on January 3, 2026
What are the chances that you meet someone at a retreat in the mountains across the ocean from your hometown, and they share the same birthday as you, too? What’s also notable is the many commonalities of interest and experiences we shared.
On the 30th of June, I turned 30 in a serene and secluded retreat halfway around the world from my hometown. Surrounded by tall, lush trees, African bushes, and Hadeda Ibis, I can’t imagine anything better than this for the start of the next decade of my life. While I had planned for my 30th birthday to be spent in nature, to be mind-soothing, and a detox from all electronic screens and society, the day unexpectedly started with forming a sweet, genuine connection with a stranger at breakfast. This day turned out to be the start of a beautiful friendship.
What You See Others Have Is Not What You Want
Without any plan or expectations of making any friends on this day, I had the most surprising connection with a stranger. As an introvert in my 20s, I often thought about what my life would be like when I turned 30. I’ve heard from older friends and acquaintances that you become wiser, and that was the one thing that stuck with me ever since I learned about that. Why? Because I was both scared and excited about the life choices I was making in my 20s. I naively wanted to fast forward and live my life from the age of 30, dreaming that I would feel happier and more successful.
When I was thinking about how I wanted to say farewell to my 20s, I actually drew inspiration from Gina Darling. I remember coming home from a long day of teaching, having dinner in my small, quiet South Korean apartment, watching her 30th Birthday vlog. Gina made it look both bittersweet and fun. It was touching to see her celebrate her 30th with her loved ones. That made me feel like that was the kind of celebration I wanted when I reached that chapter of my life.
The months leading up to June became increasingly dreaded by me. I was feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and possibly burned out from the previous year. I was also overthinking about the future— I know — doing so will just cause a tremendous amount of anxiety. So, a quarter of the year before my birthday, I made up my mind to isolate myself in a forest (something that I had generally dreamt of for the longest time). A nature retreat, somewhere on a mountain, in a forest, surrounded by trees, a lot of greenery, birds chirping, and away from people. My social battery was completely drained at this point and I just needed to be in nature. Period.
A Blessing in the Open
I treated myself (and my husband, he treated me too) to a 3-day, 2-night retreat in Hout Bay, Cape Town, South Africa. After checking in, we immediately booked a session at the sauna offered on the property of the retreat where we stayed. I must say it was a satisfying experience, and especially a healing one. It had opened up my insides and released toxins that had been inside me for way too long. I should go to more saunas.
The second day of our retreat was my birthday, and it was honestly such a blessed day. We woke up early to eat at the complimentary breakfast buffet. When we arrived at the dining hall, another guest was having her breakfast at the communal long table. My husband and I grabbed our plates of tasty breakfast. “Good morning,” we greeted as we gathered our food and sat down. Then, the simple conversation starter that unknowingly snowballed into a beautiful friendship, “Where are you guys from?” We were quickly surprised to learn that the woman lives in my hometown in Pennsylvania. As we enjoyed breakfast together and continued chatting, we discovered that we shared many common interests and mindsets. The next crazy thing we learned about each other was that we shared the same birthday — like what are the chances that you meet a stranger halfway around the world, in a nature retreat, on your birthday with the same birthday as you, and from your hometown?
Take care of your energy
Set boundaries for yourself. I’m not too sure if it is because I am getting older, but I have been feeling more sensitive to the energies around me. Particularly, it might be because I am like 90% introvert, but my social battery gets drained very quickly. It is challenging for me to stick around people for longer than an hour, which is why it is so essential for me — and people like me — to have enough time alone to recharge.
Even if you are not an introvert, traveling and staying at nature retreats can be valuable for your overall well-being. It is time away from society, where you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone, reflect on your wants and needs, and enjoy your own company. Extroverts also need this balance in life.
During the retreat, I was fully immersed in the space and time, allowing myself to release in a sauna and meditate. I sat on a wooden deck and journaled about the things that were bothering me and holding me back from achieving more. I lay in a hammock and read the book that I’ve been meaning to read. I let my social battery slowly recharge.
Sometimes, when I meet another introvert and our energies are on the same wavelength, you would probably think I am an extrovert. Riding the same energy means I am comfortable enough to share about myself with you, and it doesn’t feel forced or disingenuous. This is the kind of friendship that can be created when you take care of your energy.
Go somewhere you’ve never been to before to relax
Do it solo or do it with those closest to your heart. When you visit healing places, you never know what lovely human beings you might come across. However, I wouldn’t advise going to these places to make connections for benefits other than a spiritual one and your well-being. Before going to a retreat, set your intentions. Ask yourself why you want to go to a retreat, whether it’s to decompress, get a new point of view, or find a community — be intentional with yourself.
It wasn’t just another year that passed since my last birthday, but it was the turn of a new decade for me. At this point in my life, putting my energy into places where I can see it help me grow has naturally brought in a flow of good friends into my life, and I am so grateful for that. This wasn’t the first time that I’ve traveled somewhere and made life-long friends. So, I know that when you take care of yourself and treat yourself to somewhere you deserve to experience at least once in your life, good things will happen to you.
Reflections
I’m so grateful for how my birthday turned out. I couldn’t have asked for a more blessed start to my 30s and a beautiful new friendship.
The message that I hope you take away is,
“Go out there because you never know what beautiful souls you might meet and connect with.”
How I Find Retreats
If you’re unsure of where to start finding a retreat or resort without traveling too far or depleting your bank account, here is how I did it!
My go-to website for booking accommodation is Booking.com. I would search for an area that I have researched or found on Google Maps that I’ve never been to before, and that looks like a quiet getaway. Then, search on Booking.com for guesthouse-like accommodations in that area.
You deserve to take time off for yourself and prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical well-being!
Visiting South Africa
If you’re to visit Cape Town, South Africa, you should be aware of some safety tips before arriving! Unfortunately, theft and corruption are apparent here. Check out this Cape Town safety guide, written by my husband, a local South African. Stay safe, and thanks for hanging out with me in today’s post!
With every one of my blog posts, I hope you feel inspired to explore more of the world because you’ll be surprised by what you’ll learn if you allow your mind to be open.
Sincerely,
Amy♡
